If I Had My Time Again
by Ted Sadler
Summary: Forever is a long time. It's not enough.
1. The Beginning of the End

Title: If I Had My Time Again  
  
Author: Ted Sadler  
  
Email: ted.sadler@ntlworld.com  
  
Rating: G  
  
Archive: SJD Yes  
  
Summary: Forever is a long time. It's not enough.  
  
Spoilers: None  
  
Status: complete  
  
All publicly recognisable characters and places are the property of MGM, World Gekko Corp and Double Secret productions. This piece of fan fiction was created for entertainment not monetary purposes and no infringement on copyrights or trademarks was intended. Previously unrecognised characters and places, and this story, are copyrighted to the author. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead is coincidental and not intended by the author.  
  
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If I had My Time Again  
  
© 2003 Ted Sadler  
  
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Chapter 1 - The Beginning of the End  
  
It was, conceivably, the greatest discovery of the greatest invention ever made. Which was why Daniel Jackson and Major Samantha Carter had been told that they were to receive medals from the President, and a promise that after the Stargate's existence became public knowledge, they would be household names to everyone on Earth and probably beyond.  
  
The greatest discovery, and potentially the most useful in the war against the Goa'uld and many other hostile species. And yet they received the news with apathy and regret, to the utter amazement of the White House messenger who sat opposite them in General Hammond's office. Not even when he added the part about a lifetime of wealth as a result of their fame. General Hammond had felt it necessary to fill the prolonged, embarrassing silence.  
  
"Please tell the President that Doctor Jackson and Major Carter will be honoured to accept the awards at a time convenient to him." He stood up, bringing the meeting to a premature end, and shook hands with the equerry. "You'll understand, no doubt, that these momentous few days have left them both a little overwhelmed by events." He ushered the man steadily from the room, and an airman escorted him away.  
  
"May we go now, General?" asked Daniel, still standing by his chair.  
  
"No you may not." replied Hammond testily, motioning for them both to sit down. "I need to update you concerning Colonel O'Neill's forthcoming Court Martial hearing."  
  
Sam flinched at his words, while Daniel looked back at him in puzzled anticipation. Neither of them had been able to communicate with the Colonel since his arrest only hours after returning from P2F-112, and all channels, both official and unofficial were very effectively blocked. Hurt had been added to shock when they were told that O'Neill had given specific instructions that neither of them was to be allowed contact. The only person who had spoken to him was Teal'c, and he was a stone wall of silence on the subject. The closest team in the SGC had been fragmented within a few short hours, and they were numb from the shock, even General Hammond, but his responsibilities precluded sentiment.  
  
"Colonel O'Neill has indicated that he will plead guilty to the charges of negligence leading to the deaths of four SG team members and seventy two T'ba civilians on P2F-112." continued Hammond. "His statement of events is clear and unequivocal. He guaranteed the safety of those civilians to the T'ba ruling council and his decision to make a dash for the Stargate ahead of a Jaffa attack was in retrospect a foolhardy one. Most of the civilians and several SG members under his command paid the ultimate price as a result of his decision."  
  
"Then why wouldn't you let us make a plea to the President on his behalf?" asked Daniel. "He understands the risks of military engagements and he should know that off-world encounters are even more uncertain. Jack now faces dishonourable discharge and years in prison. You seem to be rather detached about it all."  
  
"Don't lecture me, Dr. Jackson!" shouted Hammond, his face reddening. "Jack O'Neill is one of the finest officers I've ever served with, and it's a damned shame he's covering something up to protect one or more people from these events. You wouldn't be able to shed any light on this, would either of you?"  
  
"Sir, I don't understand." replied Sam. "May we see a draft of his statement?"  
  
"You may, but only for the purposes of adding to my understanding of what went on. You may not take these papers out of this room nor speak to anyone on the subject." said Hammond, producing a few hand-written sheets from his desk drawer and passing them to her. "You have ten minutes before I return." He rose and left the room without looking back.  
  
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Jack's handwriting was neat and stylish.  
  
'We arrived on P2F-112, or T'BAN as the locals call it, on schedule. Our orders were to dispatch a team of scientists led by Dr. JACKSON and Maj. CARTER to evaluate the alien instruments found in the ruins at map ref. 422106 on a previous expedition. Simultaneously I led SG-4 and SG-7, accompanied by TEAL'C to the main village at map ref. 423114 to re- establish contact with the T'BAN Ruling Council. Our objectives were twofold: (1) to lead to safety through the Stargate a group of 88 T'BA previously earmarked by the GOA'ULD as potential hosts, and (2) to confirm that the T'BA were willing to sign a pact allowing us to mine substantial naquadah deposits in the locality.  
  
On the evening of the first day, I received a sitrep from Maj. CARTER that work at the science site was going according to plan, and that they would RV with us at the Stargate at 18:00 local time on day 2.  
  
The members of the Ruling Council were apprehensive about our evacuation plan until I gave them a personal guarantee of safety for the refugees. It was not until morning of the second day on world that we got their agreement, when arrangements for immediate departure were made. However, it was some two hours before we got the party to abandon items that they could not carry and we departed the village at mid-day local time.  
  
At 14:35 we saw contrails in the sky indicative of GOA'ULD Death Gliders performing atmospheric entry from a Mothership in orbit around the planet. I was faced with two choices: either to enter nearby forests and hide as best we could until the GOA'ULD had departed or stopped looking for us, or to make as quick a journey as possible to the Stargate. I opted for the second course of action as I did not want the science party to be caught. Although we attempted radio communication with them several times during the next two hours, no contact was established.  
  
We made it as far as two kilometers from the Gate before the Death Glider attacks began. Although we returned small arms fire, it was ineffective and we experienced heavy casualties: 72 of the 88 T'BA were killed or fatally wounded, together with 3 members of SG-7 and one from SG-4. (See appendix for names). All SG team members serving under me behaved with extreme valor and courage: in particular Sergeant DOLNER of SG-4 risked his own life several times despite being wounded to ensure the evacuation of the remaining civilians.  
  
I dispatched TEAL'C ahead to dial out of the Gate and hold it open, which he was successful in doing. This served the dual purpose of making our escape possible and also preventing the GOA'ULD from dialling in with reinforcements.  
  
I was unaware of the location of our science party by the time we had to pass through the Gate at 17:20, having failed to establish communication with them. I did not learn until we were back at the SGC that they had successfully returned earlier that afternoon. I had our remaining radios checked out immediately after arrival and they were in working condition. I must conjecture that local atmospheric / ionospheric conditions on T'BAN prevented their proper functioning there.  
  
I alone made the decision to try for the Stargate, and carry the sole responsibility for the consequences.  
  
J. O'Neill, Colonel, SG-1.'  
  
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Sam sat with her head in her hands, hot salty tears running down her face. Daniel put his arm round her shoulders to try and comfort her, but she pushed him away angrily. She knew in that instant exactly why she didn't just respect Jack for his leadership qualities or his overwhelming sense of responsibility towards his friends and team-mates. She loved him wholeheartedly, in a way that suddenly seemed more important than military propriety or her career ambitions.  
  
"No!" she cried, straightening up. "You see what he's doing, don't you? He's left out all mention of his instructions to me not to run any experiments on site. You and the others persuaded me that it was too important not to run a quick test. I'm not blaming you, Daniel. I was just as eager and we did it, didn't we?"  
  
"But it was the right thing to do!" replied Daniel excitedly. "The Chronoscope will give us such an advantage in this war. And for the immeasurable benefit of all mankind forever!"  
  
Sam was about to reply when General Hammond returned. They rose as he entered but he waved them down immediately.  
  
"Well, Major?" he asked brusquely.  
  
"Sir, Colonel O'Neill has omitted something important from his report, probably to try to protect me from involvement."  
  
"And me." added Daniel.  
  
"And what would that be, Major?"  
  
"When I delivered my situation report to the Colonel on day one, I described our findings at the science site and started to explain the value of the Chronoscope. However, I was at the time quite excited about its prospects and I realise now I quite soon lost his attention on the radio. I can't blame him on this occasion, Sir, like I sometimes do when he doesn't follow in the briefings, as I really was going too fast. Anyhow, he cut me short with an order not to 'fire it up' before we got it home."  
  
"But it really is of unlimited value, General." interrupted Daniel. "We were right to test it before we brought it back. I take responsibility for railroading Sam into approving a quick test."  
  
"No, Daniel. I deliberately disobeyed an order from my CO, and it's my fault it happened." replied Sam quickly.  
  
"Let's not get into whose fault it was." said Hammond. "Just *what* happened, exactly?"  
  
"Well, the according to the texts I translated, the Chronoscope can show events at a nominated time at a designated set of co-ordinates. A sort of 'window onto the past'. We can spy on the Goa'uld or anyone else at any time or place they met to plan attacks against us or others!" Daniel was still excited about the marvel. "And we can verify our own history and religious events."  
  
"So I took the decision to allow a five-second test using the co-ordinates of our location in the ruins on P2F-112." Sam continued. "The T'ba had told us that the ruins were about two hundred Earth years old, so we set it up for 300 years in the past. We had several false starts, but we finally saw a picture of an elaborate house, broadly the size and shape of the ruins we were standing in."  
  
"But it does seem as though the instrument needs considerable tuning and adjustment before we can use it reliably." Daniel interjected. "An unexpected side-effect was an intense burst of ionising radiation as it shut down."  
  
"We didn't realise it straight away," said Sam, "but our radios were out as a result and we couldn't communicate with the Colonel. Later we saw the Death Gliders de-orbiting and decided to get the instrument back through the Gate to safety before we were attacked. You'll recall that you ordered us not to go back but to await the Colonel's arrival."  
  
"Yes, I remember." replied Hammond.  
  
"So, Sir, I request permission to make a statement explaining my own culpability in defence of Colonel O'Neill." said Sam, her tone formal and polite.  
  
"That would be *our* culpability, General." added Daniel.  
  
Hammond paused and looked at each of them in turn. "I'm afraid it's not that simple. Firstly, the President has you two lined up as heroes at a time when the SGC is in dire need of political support and budgeting to continue our work. Your discovery of the Chronoscope that you quite rightly termed as of 'immeasurable value', Dr. Jackson, has made the two of you untouchable." He raised a hand at their intended protests. "I don't like it any more than you do, but you know how important our work is. I cannot allow that support to be curtailed when we are so vulnerable to attack."  
  
"Secondly, and more to the point," continued the General, "the T'ba Ruling Council has requested that Colonel O'Neill should be handed over to them to undertake a task that seems to be needed as a direct result of your experiment. It appears that a kind of vortex of an unknown nature is gradually developing at the location where you carried out your experiment. They speculate that it is some sort of hole in space-time, and it is slowly getting bigger. They believe that a big enough energy surge originating within the vortex would destabilise it and end the threat to their planet."  
  
"Just how big an energy surge, Sir?" asked Sam.  
  
"Equivalent to a twenty kiloton nuclear explosion, Major." said Hammond.  
  
"But that's.." Daniel started to say, as Sam stared wide-eyed.  
  
"We know exactly what kind of mission this is, Dr. Jackson. And I have to tell you that Colonel O'Neill has already agreed to undertake it."  
  
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	2. The End of Time

Chapter 2 - The End of Time  
  
Daniel and Sam rounded on Teal'c when they found him alone in his quarters. Although the Jaffa had experienced a long lifetime of confrontation and stress, the waves of emotion emanating from his colleagues took him by surprise, beginning with Sam crashing the door shut and shouldering Daniel aside to stand in front of him.  
  
"Just where do your loyalties lie, Teal'c?" she shouted at him, but his face remained calm. "Why the hell didn't you tell us what's been happening with the Colonel?"  
  
"O'Neill requested that I should not disclose his circumstances or wishes." came his taciturn reply. "I respect him and naturally complied."  
  
"Your respect is going to get him killed, Teal'c!" Daniel interjected. "Why can't you see that he needs our help now, more than ever?"  
  
"Because O'Neill is adamant that his dearest friends should not become involved in a matter that he feels should be resolved by him alone. I too am unhappy that he should end his life in this manner. He will not die well."  
  
Sam's look of pure agony at his statement caused Teal'c to recall the words O'Neill had spoken all those years ago: "I would rather die myself than lose Carter. I care about her - a lot more than I'm supposed to." He realised that she was thinking of the same incident, and that another glittering facet of its full meaning was still, after all this time, becoming clear to her.  
  
Sam slumped down into the adjacent chair, unable to continue the tirade she had intended to deliver a few moments previously. Daniel's cold logic, however, was gaining the upper hand over his distress and he continued.  
  
"Teal'c, will you please help us try to save Jack from himself? Tell us what you know about what's happening."  
  
Teal'c gazed back at him, torn between the promise he had made to his closest friend and the pleas of people he also respected and loved. After a short but deafening silence, he nodded to Daniel.  
  
"I will comply, DanielJackson. I do not wish O'Neill to feel that he is alone. But I warn you, there is little we can do. Tomorrow a nuclear warhead will arrive here to be attached to a roving vehicle. The day after, O'Neill will drive it through the Stargate to T'ban and proceed to the site, where he will ensure its detonation after passing into the vortex."  
  
"So, if he sets a timer with a long enough delay, he could still get clear of the detonation zone?" asked Daniel.  
  
"No." said Sam, her voice leaden. "You couldn't rely on the device remaining stable for long enough to detonate cleanly once it enters a space- time vortex. The force and intensity of the explosion has to be great enough to destabilise the vortex from the inside, while it is still in spatial and temporal contact with the normal space outside on the planet. The driver would have to set a very short delay and drive in with the bomb at some speed. And as a back-up, a hand-release trigger would detonate the device if the driver died instantly on entry.." Her voice trailed off to nothing and she stared ahead, her eyes dull with grief. "Oh Jack..." she whispered.  
  
Conversation came to a halt, the silence eventually broken by Teal'c. "O'Neill will not permit another to carry out this act. His sense of honour demands it."  
  
"But we were the ones who carried out the experiment against his orders, Teal'c." said Daniel. "He must understand that he's as much the victim of circumstances as anyone. There must be another way. Can't you think of *anything*, Sam?"  
  
Her reply shocked him. "No, Daniel. Nothing." But she had decided what to do, and could tell no-one.  
  
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The three of them were prohibited from being present the next day during the preparation of the bomb. That job was left strictly to the expertise of the armourers, with Jack present to maximise his familiarity and understanding of the weapon detonation sequence. And since he was still under arrest pending a Court Martial, the unrelenting military rules saw him returned to secure quarters afterwards.  
  
But that didn't stop them from spending the time persuading General Hammond to allow them to form an Honour Guard for the Colonel's departure in the Gate Room the following day.  
  
To the surprise of Daniel and Teal'c, Sam excused herself from their presence after the General had agreed, and disappeared for several hours. She even stayed away from their quarters that evening as Daniel and Teal'c sat quietly together. Teal'c at least was fully aware of her feelings for O'Neill and assumed that she needed solace before their last meeting in the morning.  
  
Dawn never breaks inside the bowels of Cheyenne Mountain. Just the movement of a clock's hands signifies that the world they were defending can enjoy the glory of another day. At 09:30 hours the three comrades stood to attention at the base of the Gate ramp as Jack O'Neill entered, dressed in BDU's but unarmed - hardly a necessary precaution on this day. He looked up in surprise to see his comrades there, standing next to General Hammond.  
  
He walked over to stand in front of them, and made eye contact with each in turn. He noted that Sam's eyes were red-rimmed, as he'd expected, but there was also a steeliness in them that surprised him even now. He couldn't bring himself to speak, however, and saluted them. "God be with you, son." were Hammond's only words.  
  
He mounted the RV and looking at its deadly cargo a last time, started up the ramp towards the blue ripples. He gunned the electric motor as fast as it would take him into the Event Horizon, and was gone.  
  
What he didn't see until he had dismounted the machine on arrival on T'ban and looked back at the Gate, was that Carter had run up the ramp behind him and vaulted through the wormhole only seconds before it closed. She was now standing facing him with a tight-lipped, determined expression.  
  
"Carter! What the hell...." he started, but got no further as she fired a zat gun at him and he twitched into unconsciousness.  
  
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	3. All Our Tomorrows

Chapter 3 - All Our Tomorrows  
  
"General!" cried Sergeant Siler from the control room steps. His cry interrupted the confusion of the last few minutes, after they had witnessed Sam's sudden disappearance through the wormhole. Hammond had given immediate orders to re-establish the connection to P2F-112 but the dialling sequence failed.  
  
"What is it, Sergeant?" called Hammond.  
  
"Major Carter has dialled out of the Gate on P2F-112, Sir." replied Siler. "We can't connect until that wormhole is terminated. But if you will come into the control room, there is a message for you on the screens."  
  
Hammond and the two remaining members of SG-1 hurried up the steps and stood before a monitor. Siler scrolled the mouse wheel to the beginning of a screenful of text. "It appeared just as the wormhole shut down, Sir." he explained.  
  
'From: Maj. S. Carter To: General Hammond, Teal'c and Daniel.  
  
My dear friends and colleagues, as you read this you will have already discovered that you cannot immediately dial out to P2F-112, where I have joined Colonel O'Neill in his mission to close down the vortex. Please do not attempt to follow: the destination Gate will be unavailable for the next 38 minutes until the wormhole here collapses. Thereafter, any pursuing forces run the risk of being within the detonation zone and fallout area of the nuclear device.  
  
General, please forgive this mutiny on my part. I simply cannot accept the fact that I would be awarded a medal and a comfortable life as the result of an act of disobedience which Colonel O'Neill will pay for with his life. There is a slight chance that I may be able to find a way of terminating the vortex without sacrifice, but to be honest, the chances are small within the available time-frame. In any event I will gladly accompany Jack to our deaths to prevent the T'ba from having their world destroyed.  
  
To Teal'c and Daniel: you are fine friends and colleagues, simply the best. The bad times we've had these past few years are more than counterbalanced by the experience and memories of your love and support. Live your lives to the full, and please try to forgive me for running out on you like this.  
  
The truth is, I cannot foresee life without Jack any more. I'm sure you know, General, that the two of us have sacrificed our personal lives for the sake of the SGC and the importance of our ongoing mission. But the events leading to this situation are such that I could not face up to myself if I were not with him to put right the damage we have done. He was once forced to publicly confess his willingness to die for me, as I was for him. I will not fail the test.  
  
Daniel, I have made provisions for all my assets to be sold to establish a fund for Cassie. I am guessing that Jack has probably done the same thing. Please tell her how sorry I am that I could not talk with her one more time. You will also find letters for my father and brother in my quarters: please see that they are delivered, and if you talk to them, tell them how much I love them.  
  
I hope we meet again, in this life or the next.  
  
Sam.'  
  
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Jack came to slowly as the buggy neared the site of the ruins. In the bright sunshine, a vague shimmering luminescence could be discerned above the stones, sometimes globular in shape, then changing suddenly to ellipses and pyramids and back again. Faint yellow and orange flashes illuminated the boundary from time to time. He looked up to see Sam driving, paying close attention to avoiding the stone boulders in their path.  
  
"Ah, crap." he moaned, as he took in the situation. "Carter, I don't suppose there's any chance.."  
  
"None whatsoever. *Jack*." she replied, smiling briefly at him. "And since we're spending the rest of our lives together, you can call me Sam. Or I'll zat you again."  
  
"Well, I'll ask the obvious question, then. Whatchya doin' here, *Sam*?"  
  
She stopped by the wall and stepped out. "I was hoping that the vortex boundary might be stable enough to rig a remote-controlled entry for the bomb. Unfortunately, that idea's gone out of the window. We're just going to have to do this together."  
  
"As in, 'together' together?" asked Jack. "I mean you could walk away now and not waste your life..."  
  
"I've wasted enough of my life - our lives - by not being with you, Jack. If you only knew how much I've wanted us to be out of this and raising children these last few years, you wouldn't be saying that."  
  
"Yeah, I guessed it. Me too." he replied softly. "But let's get ready to do what we've come for, and then make our peace. In so many ways, I'm glad you're here, Sam. You know I love you, don't you?"  
  
She wrapped her arms round his neck and kissed him full on the lips. "And I love you. I'm sorry I never said it before." They hugged and broke apart reluctantly.  
  
"We'll need to move the boulders aside to get a fast straight run at the vortex wall." she said, and they set to moving the larger ones together before separating to clear the smaller rocks. When they'd finished, they lined up the rover some thirty metres from the objective and sat together in it. Their hands came together without thinking and she leaned against his chest. He could see the small vein on her neck throbbing in time with her heart.  
  
"I never thought I'd have the chance to love someone again, not as deeply as I feel it for you." murmured Jack. "You know I'm not good with words, but it's true."  
  
"I knew, Jack, and it was just the same for me. Remember Antarctica? I said it was an honour serving with you then. Nothing's changed."  
  
They held on to each other for a few more minutes, until they both realised that the moment had arrived. A brief kiss and a smile, and they took hold of the hand-trigger together. Jack pressed the accelerator pedal to the floor and the shimmering wall enveloped them seconds later. Their last thoughts were of each other, and their last sensations those of tingling flashes, and the very beginnings of a rose-coloured bright light as the plutonium atoms fissioned.  
  
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They came to in a small, grey-coloured room. Moments of confusion and panic were stilled when each realised that the other was really there, in the flesh, solid to the touch and not glowing.  
  
"Didn't we just..?" said Jack.  
  
"Oh yeah, we certainly did." replied Sam, staggering to her feet unsteadily. She helped him up and they quickly saw that these surroundings were in some way familiar. "Sir, is this where I think it is?"  
  
"I believe so, Sam. And it's *Jack* now. 'Sir' belongs to the last life." She couldn't help smiling. "THOR! Where are you?" yelled Jack.  
  
Their Asgard friend appeared moments later. "Hello, O'Neill. Hello Samantha Carter." he said in a quiet, steady voice. "I expect you're wondering what has happened."  
  
"No. I'm guessing that we're on an eternal vacation together." replied Jack. "Are you the tour guide?"  
  
"We extracted the neuronal memory patterns from your bodies at the instant of the explosion, O'Neill." continued Thor, oblivious to Jack's sarcasm. "Obviously we could not save your original bodies, but we previously took the liberty of cloning both of you from an earlier time, and re-inserted your consciousness into these physical forms. To you it will feel no different from being in your previous bodies, except that you are physically about ten years younger than you were."  
  
"So what happens now?" asked Sam. "You deposit us back at the SGC and we carry on as normal? You did all this to save us - for what?"  
  
"Not quite, Samantha Carter." said Thor. "History needs the two of you, but not as much as it needs your grandchildren."  
  
"What?" they chorused together.  
  
"The Asgard have been using the space-time vortices generated from Chronoscope use for many thousands of years. We have a view of future history as well as the past. Several of your grandchildren play key roles in shaping the future not only of mankind, but other races too."  
  
Sam and Jack stood motionless, trying to take in this latest in a sequence of fantastic events.  
  
"But how did you know to be waiting to rescue us?" asked Jack, clearly struggling to follow the explanation.  
  
"You used a Chronoscope to view the moment from the future and then sent a message to yourselves back in time to be there!" cried Sam. "A self- fulfilling reverse prophecy."  
  
"That is correct." replied Thor. "Now, in around two hours, we shall be back in Earth orbit. Please use the time wisely to plan your next steps back on Earth."  
  
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It took them only the next twenty minutes to decide to leave the SGC, get married and start raising their grandchildren's parents. The other one hour and forty minutes was spent on deciding how to ask Cassie to give them back some of their money.  
  
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End file.
